As we walk through the various journeys in life, we begin to welcome a color that heretofore might have been pushed to the back. Gray is, as we age, something that becomes more a part of us. Our wardrobe matures (well, some people can still get away with a bright orange mini-dress…but really, that’s a rare thing…) and gray becomes a staple. We can spice it up with a nice pashmina cashmere wool in a vivid color, but underneath is our stable, reliable and comforting gray.
Our hair fades to gentle silver, albeit for some it is sitting quietly under another shade that we purchased from our darling stylist. The pressures of our jobs, families and life, in general, begin to take there toll and we see so much more gray. When we were children, a rainy day just meant playing inside and doing more creative things than playing in the sunshine. Now that we hit our adulthood, we identify those rainy, play-indoors-and-use-imagination times as ‘gray days’.
Then there are the really big, noticeable changes to gray. Our thoughts and opinions begin to mature like our wardrobes. The things of which we were so certain, the ideas and philosophies that were once so absolute begin to blur just a bit around the edges. The words ‘never’ and ‘always’ enter our realization as being so absolute and confining. I would NEVER do that, say that, think that, now fade to acceptance of the fact that we are able to see with a wider scope than we had in our youth. Yes, of course right is still right and wrong is still wrong, but we are able to see why people do the right things, and conversely, we understand why they might have made the wrong choices.
Forgiveness, I hope, comes to us so much easier. Patience, kindness, generosity, all of these things are ushered in with that wave of gray. For me, one of my biggest moments in my fade-to-gray has been my staunch opinion about people who have cosmetic surgery. NEVER was the phrase; there is never such a need; such vanity, such decadence, such a waste of time, money, self esteem, etc. And now, as I ponder on the eve of meeting with my surgeon, I realize how the gray has come to me. It’s not a surgery I have opted for, but is still going to happen. The girl who said she would never have cosmetic surgery has become the woman setting an appointment for her full mastectomy.
She will get that cosmetic surgery. And the lines blur just a little bit more, and the sharp lines between black and white blend seamlessly to gray. God has His arms around us all, teaching us that our absolute way of thinking is a pale comparison to His knowledge. I’m so overwhelmed by what I have yet to learn. I hope to be around for a long, long time for the education I find by reading His Word. Through the eyelashes that are most decidedly gray.
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Heidi, I am definitely in the gray season of my life! More importantly, sister, I am praying for YOU. A whole and complete healing. My love and prayers and hope are with you as you face the surgery and a full recovery. ♥
Heidi, am a reading right? are you having a full mastectomy tomorrow due to breast cancer? It has affected both breasts? I am soo sooo soo sorry. But I have to say look at the tenderness of your article… it is incredible… and moving.
I am sure your church, your family, and your friends are an amazing comfort at this time… please know my prayers will be lifted up continually for you. Feel free to email me anytime for specific prayer.
God is the God of miracles… I know you know that… He is whispering your name to just snuggle into His shoulder & rest your head. May He enrich your life far beyond what you can ask or think, and may He give guidance to you, your drs, & your family from Heavens Throne.
I will bethyoe God with you for a full & speedy recovery!
The drs have given me "less than a month.." several times over the last years… The last time was Dec 2, 2006… so you see 4 yrs I am still here… miraculously!..I am fighting complex internal spinal tumors eating through my spine, amongst other life threatening problems… My days and nights are very, very tough,..filled with 24/7 pain… but I am so excited to have each day of the gift of life. It means He hasn't finished with us yet!!! Isn't that exciting?!
Oh, Heidi, I am so glad you wrote this article, and for the opportunity to pray for you!
Please keep in touch & let us know how you are doing!
By Grace,
Through Mercy,
Cathy B
pbprojecthope at yahoo dot com
http://palmbreezeliving.blogspot.com
I love how you illustrated this.
Oh my make me cry. This was beautiful. Poetic without even rhyming. Thank you for sharing this with me…and all of us.
WOW! This is SO powerful! I really really appreciate you sharing this post with us Heidi…You are a blessing and know that God is with you! Love you girly!