Purpose Beyond the Pain

Journey in Discovering Hope

Breast cancer survivor Carolyn Bongiorno and her husband had been trying to conceive for two years. She was 32 and working 60-hour weeks when her doctor told her that slowing down was the first step toward fertility. She resigned from her job and returned to her doctor, eager to begin treatment.

“That’s the day they found the lump,” Carolyn said.

“Being so young, with no family history, and finding it at a time meant to be joyous, it brought me to my knees,” she said. “The entire process was one of discovery.”

“If someone had sat me down at the beginning of the journey and said ‘this is what all you’re going to go through,’ I think I would have ran away,” Carolyn said. “It’s good to take it one day,   one procedure, at a time, and before you know it, each is over and you come out the other side with such gratitude.”

She discovered that gratitude while sitting on her couch with a bucket in hand, I.V. hooked up and lying next to her, when she cried out, “God, I am not going through this for no reason. There is no way You are having me walk this journey for nothing. So, I’m here. My eyes are open. My heart is open. Show me what I am meant to learn from this.”

“I never understood how suffering was a gift until then,” she said. “The gift is empathy. When you are suffering, the grace given to you is compassion and empathy for all people suffering. Never again can you look at someone who is suffering and not feel, not act, because you truly know.”

During the journey, Carolyn returned to the ice rink she managed for years.

“These little skaters I had watched grow up would tell me how terrified they were of breast cancer because their grandmother had it, or their school teacher, or their aunt,” she said. “I realized that was part of the gift, too. When talking with one girl, I knew right then I wanted young girls to know they can make a difference, even if in some small way, for just one day. That’s when Skate for Hope was born.”

Working from home, Carolyn started Skate for Hope when her daughter was 18 months old. “One thing I really try to be a champion for and what Skate for Hope does as a huge part of our mission, is raising awareness in younger women,” she said.

“The third Saturday of each June, at the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio, 100 kids and 10 athletes who are Olympians and national champions put on a really fun show,” Carolyn said. “This year, we raised $60,000 for breast cancer research and it’s my dream to do a show that would raise $100,000. A very family-friendly event, tickets are only $15. Every chair in that building is $15 for research and we have thousands of chairs!”

It’s been 12 years since that first discovery, and Carolyn has considered herself cancer-free since the day of her mastectomy and node dissection.
“That is the day they took the cancer out of my body and chemotherapy was a preventative measure,” she said. “That’s the way I viewed it the entire time. I think how you choose to receive these events into your life ultimately determines what they are to you. You have to say, is this going to make me bitter or is this going to make me stronger?”

For more information about Skate for Hope, visit www.skateforhope.org.