Love Yourself Enough to Trust the Process

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We live in an instant society. 

“Drop those pounds fast!”

“Fix your relationship in a week!”

“Build your business overnight!”

Everywhere we turn we’re bombarded with advertisements, messages and information that somehow convinces us that unless our goals are achieved in 30 days or less we are somehow behind in life.

Well, I’ve got news for you: Change is a process—NOT an event.

Your life is NOT an instant mix. You can’t just add motivation, money or the latest quick fix steps and expect things to change immediately. In order for us to achieve long-lasting, sustainable growth so that we can be different, think differently and act differently, we have to go through the process.

When I found myself lying flat on my back in the hospital hooked up to tubes and surrounded by beeping machines, I wanted nothing more than to blink my eyes, bob my head genie-style and fast-forward to full recovery. But life doesn’t work that way. 

In order for you to grow, you have to experience the process of growth.

Think of a seed that’s planted. In order for that seed to grow into a plant, become stronger, blossom, fully mature and reproduce, certain steps must be followed. It has to endure being covered in dirt and buried in the dark then struggle to push its way upward and outward so it can feel the rays of sunlight on its leaves. There are dark days, windy days, sunlight, clouds, intense heat and cold. It survives through pests, storms and well-meaning people who somehow manage to bruise it unintentionally while trying to help it along. Each moment, each day, each month and year is another part of its process of growth that ultimately shapes it into a beautiful, fully mature plant.

Just like that tiny seed endures changes, growth and different types of influences along its journey, so do we. However, we’ve been conditioned to believe that growth is instantaneous. We don’t want to go through the process of growth because that means that we’re going to be uncomfortable. We’re going to be afraid. We’re going to feel alone. We’re going to lose some people along the way.

When I was on my road to recovery from my physically painful and challenging process of healing, I had to decide that I was going to love myself enough to be gentle and supportive of my journey of “becoming.” So often we look to others to support us, guide us and encourage us; but we forget that we need to do the same for ourselves.

You’re constantly growing, changing and evolving. Being the best version of you at any given moment is crucial to this process. Change begins with an event but occurs through the process of being loving, supportive and patient with who you are—and who you are becoming.

Keisha A Rivers is a strategist specializing in assisting clients to achieve personal and professional success by enhancing their knowledge of self, knowledge of strategies and knowledge of systems. Her Released & Ready Series enables clients to reflect on their patterns, redirect their path, refine their thinking, rejuvenate their spirit and release themselves to act.

2 Comments

  1. Geri Speak

    June 2, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    This is such a powerful and timely article.  Thank you for pouring out your heart and being vulnerable. 

  2. L. Williams

    June 2, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    This article speaks to me and so many women I know.  Embracing the process may not be the easiest thing to do but it's definitely the most profitable 

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