In the months following the second miscarriage, I felt so broken; I felt as if the pieces of my heart had been scrambled on the floor and I did not know where to start in piecing them together again. I could barely see through the tears to begin the process of restoration. Then I realized that each tear of sadness, frustration and disappointment was essential to my healing.
In my brokenness, I ran to God! I knew that to prevent from moving into a state of sadness and depression, I needed a level of comfort that I could only find in His presence. I searched the scriptures to keep my faith intact. I read about every barren woman in The Word and my faith was ignited when I noticed something I already knew — something that was especially profound in this particular season of my life — and that is that most of these women went on to have the
children they desired! That was the moment I stopped dwelling on what happened, made the decision to heal from this pain and began my journey towards extraordinary faith for God to manifest our children here on earth!
The testing of faith produces perseverance (James 1:3). I stood firmly on the promise that the God of hope would fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in Him, so that I would overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13). I knew that I could not allow my faith to dwindle because it would be impossible to please Christ without solid faith in Him (Hebrews 11:1). As a child of the Most High King, I had to look beyond my current circumstances and focus on what He is able to do, because I live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). Getting beyond the incredible pain that we experienced would not be easy, but my faith would make it possible.
I can’t think of one person that would raise their hands to God and say, “Lord, choose me to experience trials, challenges, loss, despair or the like.” I have news for you. That is exactly what we do when we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior.
“And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering” (Romans 8:17).
There is a price for being a follower of Jesus – you have to endure suffering, pressures of various kinds, persecution and some even face death for following Christ. James informs us of this:
“When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing” (James 1:2-4).
My miscarried joy, who are now my angels in heaven, were part of my journey of suffering for Christ and are my stepping-stones to walking in extraordinary faith. The enemy asked God if he could test me and God allowed it, but He did not cause it. To share in the glory of Christ, I must also share in His suffering. But because I have been justified through faith, I have peace through Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1). Nothing that I suffer will ever compare to the great price
Jesus paid for our sins and salvation through His crucifixion and resurrection. Jesus came to the earth to die for all people. When He was crucified, so were our worries, our fears, our doubts and our anxiety.