Are You Loving Like You Matter?

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shutterstock_170048588Are you loving like you matter? At first glance, did you have to read the question a couple times to see if you understood it correctly? If so, you’re not alone. Love is a definitive call on each of our lives – One to another. Recipients should feel valued, regarded, validated, accepted, celebrated, appreciated, and nurtured, through our love. Simply, love will never ask that we ignore ones value. Therein lies the tricky part, love requires that we simultaneously love ourselves (the giver) and others (the recipient). It doesn’t ask that we perpetrate it in a package of neglect, indifference, disrespect, or disregard for ourselves as if we don’t matter. Instead, love desires we love the vessel from which it is being poured. As much as we speak of the sacrifice and selflessness of love, we must stand on our call to be good stewards of ourselves as givers of love. So, how would you rate yourself when it comes to being a woman who loves like she matters? Whether you feel like you’re doing a great job or you could use a tune-up in this area, the following tips are sure to boost or maintain your success:

Tip 1 – Practice Self-Compassion: Simply put, be more kind to yourself! Being super critical and unduly hard on yourself can only hurt you and rub off on those you care about. If you’re your worst critic, cease and desist. Being harsh toward yourself is a tell tale sign that you’re not living like you matter which will naturally affect your ability to love like you matter. 

Tip 2 – There’s Grace in Gratitude. What are you grateful for? Can you identify your blessings? Can you see your daily grace? When you grasp daily messages that speak to love received in the small, big, and unexpected packages, its hard to ignore how absolutely significant you are. When we allow gratitude to take center stage, our value is illuminated and options that seek to disregard it become too costly to afford. 

Tip 3 – Be the First. Love has a unique way of creating love. When you dare to be the first to: choose you; love you; accept you; and believe in you, you give others permission to do and reciprocate the same. When you go first, you model a healthy love that owns a self-awareness that will harness the respect of those who love you.

Tip 4 – Create & Uses Healthy Boundaries. What are your parameters for saying yes or no? What are your personal limits? Part of loving like we matter requires seeing our worth independent of what we can do for others, how people see us, and what people expect of or from us. Healthy boundaries not only teach others how to treat us but they highlight our values based on our actions. These boundaries serve to give clear guidelines on how to promote loving others without disrespecting ourselves.

Tip 5 – Stand in Full Persuasion of God’s Love for You. Every time we accept how much we matter to God, it becomes more challenging to act like we don’t matter even to ourselves. In and of itself, owning the truth of God’s love is one of the best ways to keep ourselves honest when it comes to loving ourselves and others in a way that’s ultimately pleasing to Him.

Dr. Nicole LaBeach is a success strategist, relationship expert and author who has changed the lives of all who dared to strive for their personal bests. She is a sought-after, results-driven professional and the CEO of Volition Enterprises, Inc., a premiere personal and professional development firm specializing in coaching, organization growth and development. To connect with Dr. Nicole, visit www.askdrnicole.com.

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