“Mommy, come!” ”Mommy, come here!”
This is the little voice I hear calling to me most mornings and after nap times. Sometimes my son switches it to call for daddy. And sometimes he gets desperate and just sobs without even calling our names. And for a couple of months, I’d hear this sobbing and crying for me in the middle of the night again after him having slept through the night for almost a year.
And when I hear this voice and hear his plea, I go to him. Because he is mine. We snuggle together to calm his fears. My hair falls over the top of his head and the two intermingle in exactly the same shade of brown. Because he is mine. We have had our fair share of battles — stubborn ones — throughout his learning to sleep or just to listen when we tell him not to do something. Because he is mine (he comes by his stubbornness fair and square). At the end of any given day, though, the things I have done that day for my son and for my daughter are because I love them. They are mine. I see bits of myself in them. My daughter has my sensitive heart and the shape of my fingers. She has my smile. My son has my brown hair and eyes. He has my love for music and snuggles.
I think about how I would do anything for them, because they are mine. I think about how I don’t ignore their pleas for help when they are sick or scared, because they are mine. I think about how God must feel that way with us. Because we are His, He doesn’t ignore us when we cry out to Him. He is there even when we don’t realize it. Just like I am never far from my son when he is afraid that I have left for good. I haven’t left. And neither does God leave us, even when we can’t see Him.
He comes running to us in our time of need because we are His. I think of this especially in the night. Things can be scarier in the night, especially for children. My daughter is old enough to get out of bed and come running to me when she needs me. My son is still in his crib and his only course of action is to holler for me. Either way, I’m there, which is just how God is with us. Whether we can come running and meet Him or whether we need Him to find us in the darkest nights. He is there. He is waiting. He is loving us. Because we are His.
I’ve had many figurative dark nights in my lifetime. I have had times where I had no idea how I was going to make it through. I have had innumerable moments of frustration and pain. I have cried out to God about the unfairness of it all. I have pleaded with Him to take away difficult circumstances or painful ailments. Some prayers have been answered with a yes and a resolution. Others have been answered with a gentle no. No matter what I have faced, though, He has always shown up when I needed Him and cried out to Him. Because I am His. And no greater love can be found. I work to wrap my head around His love and how it can be even greater than my love for my children. It’s beyond comprehension, but the glimpses I get make me feel humbled and thankful.
I wonder what God sees when He looks at me. Does He see pieces of Himself as I see pieces of myself in my children? I know we are made in His image, but I also know it goes much deeper than appearance. I’m not sure that God has a hair color or eye color. Maybe he does. I really don’t know. But what I want Him to see the most is His character attributes being displayed through my life because I am His. And that is where it gets tricky. I have to battle my own self, my own desires and my own fallibility so that He may shine through. I want Him to see Himself in me. I want to get out of the way so that He can work in my life. Because I am His and He is mine.
I don’t know where you are today, my friend. I don’t know if you’re in the deepest darkest night and scared to pieces, unsure of how you will make it through or how you can face another day. I don’t know if maybe you’re on a mountaintop experiencing the joy of life and of God. Or maybe you’re somewhere in the middle. Maybe you’re wondering how God shines through in your life. No matter where you are, no matter what you’re facing, wondering or thinking, just call out to Him. He will come running to meet you, because you are His.