June of this year will mark the three-year anniversary of losing David, a man I loved and intended to marry. Throughout my grieving process, two questions plagued my mind. Would I recover from the emotional pain and have the courage to let another man in my heart? And would I again experience unconditional love?
Nearly three years later, the answer to both of these questions is yes. Absolutely yes! But, the answers weren’t always yes. For a good period of time, I really wondered if I could love someone again. I wondered if I could trust another man so much again, to share with him my insecurities and imperfections and know his love for me did not waver. I wondered if I would be looked at as less than an amazing woman because of what I shared from my past. Some people have never had the joys of being loved romantically without limits. I wondered if I would be so fortunate to have this privilege more than once.
It took time. It took spending a lot of quality time with myself, just trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces and move on. It took finding purpose and peace amidst my loss, which I eventually found. It could take a little while, but I believe you can find purpose and peace from your love that ended, too; something you can use to help you grow in your personal and spiritual life. It took counseling. It took encouragement from friends. It took God’s healing. It really took faith.
Your reason for asking the two questions of yourself that I asked of myself may not stem from loss like what I endured. But, it could be a four-year relationship with your high school sweetheart that ended. A repeated betrayal. An infidelity. Or a later dysfunctional relationship that started out healthy.
I believe you can love again. But to give your heart totally to someone again and experience unconditional love again, you must give your mind, heart, spirit and body time to heal. I had days when convinced myself I was ready to love again, trying to skip through some uncomfortable parts of the healing process, and all I did was hinder my readiness.
Your healing could come from a combination of prayer, meditation, devotion, journaling, many conversations with your mom or girlfriends or counseling. Be honest with yourself about how you feel and your readiness. I want you to experience unconditional love again, but I want you to be healed and confident to give God’s chosen man for you the honor and pleasure of loving you.
The severity of what we experience can create powerful doubt and fear about our ability and opportunity to again experience unconditional love. You should, with God’s help and every fiber of your being, get completely healed so you can love again because you deserve to be loved and loved unconditionally.