Bouncing back with boundaries

Summer is slipping away, and for many, that means a return to packed schedules and competing demands.  If we’re not careful, busyness will replace living and dreams won’t fit into your schedule.

How do you gain control of your time and priorities? The answer is to draw boundaries!  The easy part is that we all understand that they are fundamental to healthy living.  The hard part is that we fear the rejection that comes from saying “no”!

Boundaries are not optional.  We need them psychologically to maintain identity.   Physically, they provide safety and preservation.  Emotionally, they help prevent burnout and depression.

Here are some guidelines for establishing boundaries:
Tip #1: Establish boundaries quickly, clearly and early.

Everybody wants something from you.  The key is, you can’t be afraid to ask others exactly what that is.  If you can’t provide what they need, let them know.  You must be equally clear about what you expect from others.  Defined priorities and values help to eliminate tension and resentment down the line.

Tip #2: Let purpose be your guide!

We’re all here for a purpose and the use of our time should reflect our passions.  If you love to organize events, then writing for the drama team probably isn’t the wisest use of your time.   Pitching in to help others is our moral responsibility, but make sure that you are not constantly tending to the needs of others.  Healthy boundaries will keep you balanced.

Tip #3: Confront boundary crossers!

If you don’t respect your time and values, nobody else will!  You have to speak up when those around you violate your boundaries.  They may not be used to you saying “no” or openly confronting an issue, but give them space to make the adjustment.  If they don’t come around, you have a decision to make.  Does approval or fulfillment mean more?

Learning how and when to say “no” is the beginning of saying “yes” to balanced living.

Copyright 2010 Felicia T. Scott.  All rights reserved.