My Friend Vanessa
By Monica Ware
Vanessa and I have been friends since the 4th grade, yes the 4th grade! Every event we attend she always makes that announcement, which at times can irritate my other friends. Many years ago I went through a painful separation from my husband. I was devastated and very angry! The first person I called was Vanessa, who at the time, lived an hour away. She got on the road, picked me up and we sat in a fast food restaurant parking lot and cried together for hours. I literally cried in her arms! I was hurt and betrayed, but the comfort of my girlfriend helped to ease my pain. She gave me such sweet advice. She was my ride or die girlfriend and my wise counselor. She said things like, “I’ve got your back; whatever you want to do I’m with you,” and “Don’t make any major decisions while you’re angry.” I will never forget that moment Vanessa held my hand and told me that she would be there for me during such a painful time in my life.
I love Vanessa because she always seemed to show up at just the right times in my life. While living in Germany, I received a call that my mother was dying of pancreatic cancer, so my family and I rushed to Florida to see my mother. I was not prepared for what I was about to see next. I walked into her bedroom and to my surprise, she had whittled down to 98 lbs. No one warned me, prepared me, or told me the truth about her appearance. I was in shock and ran out of the room in tears! I had never seen my mother look so small and frail. I ran outside and my family ran after me. In that moment of tears and anguish, I received a phone call that came at just the right time.
See, this is why I love my friend Vanessa! Yes, Vanessa called me at that very moment I was outside crying over my mother. We talked, cried and she spoke life into my soul. I was able to go back inside and apologize to my mother for running out. We spent the next 30 days with my mother and 30 days later she passed away. Vanessa came to be by my side during this time. I have many friends, friends whom I consider my best friends, but Vanessa is that friend that has literally been there with me through the fire and the rain. (She can also share stories of me being by her side through the good and the bad.)
We’ve had a few ups and downs in our relationship, but we always got it right with each other. My husband and I went through counseling over the years and now we have been together for 24 years this September. We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary with the big wedding we never had. We are a retired military family, so all of my best friends are spread out throughout the United States, including Vanessa. Many of them traveled to attend our wedding and out of all my “girls,” Vanessa was my Matron of Honor. It was such a special time and moment to spend with my girl because we seldom get to spend time together. I’m so thankful for friends, and even more thankful for faithful friends like Vanessa!
Monica Ware is the founder & publisher of Be You! Girl Magazine