What is the focus in your marriage?

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I got married 6 days after I graduated high school. I was 18 years old. I was happy, excited, and hopeful.

Why the rush? Why not? My soon-to-be husband and I knew we wanted to be together, so why wait? We were ready for our two lives to become one (Genesis 2:24)…

There have been many people that I graduated with who have gotten married as well. However, the sad reality is that many of those who were married after me are now divorced.

That led someone to ask me, “What makes your marriage different? You actually like being married. You both love each other. You don’t fight and bicker like other couples I know. It seems like you want to be married to each other…even after almost 6 years.”

The only way that I can answer that is, “It’s God.

In my opinion, no one is really ready to get married, no matter your age. Two sinners attempting “happily ever after” is a recipe for disaster. Honestly, the divorce rate doesn’t surprise me…we are a culture saturated with sex, lust, and dreams of perfection around every corner. That is just not going to lead to a long-lasting, love-filled unity. We cannot achieve a happy joyful marriage on our own strength and ability.

We must be focused on glorifying God in our marriage. That is what makes the difference.

If we are living our lives truly aiming to glorify God in all we do (1 Corinthians 10:31) then our life (and marriage) will be different! It will be MAJORLY different!

We won’t just be married to be “happy.” Or we just won’t be happy as long as we still “feel” in love. That “in love” feeling (some will call this lust, not love) does not last forever. And that is wonderful news!

That “in love” feeling is really superficial. When that “feeling” fades and we choose to be intentional in our marriage and choose to love one another, in the good and bad, that is when we truly experience a deep, soul-sharing, united as one, level of love. That is when your bond will really become cemented as a couple.

However, you cannot expect your journey to always be easy…that is just not a reality. However, when we are focused on glorifying God, we stick it out! We realize that a good marriage is worth the work, and it is a choice that we have to make each day! It’s worth putting in the effort. It’s worth it because in today’s culture, a happy, joy-filled marriage is not the norm, really it is no where close to being “normal!”

Therefore, having a happy marriage will cause people to take notice…and maybe even ask! And what an opportunity you will have to share the good news with them! To share what makes your marriage different. When you do marriage right, you put gospel on display!

My aim in my marriage is to point others to God. That is my focus…and that makes a difference!

So here’s the question…

What is the focus in your marriage?

Ashley is a 20-something year old seminary wife who lives in Louisville, KY with her husband, Michael, and their three cats. God willing, they are hoping to expand their family, through way of adoption, this year. She is passionate about encouraging women to live for the Lord in all aspects of their lives and blogs about it at Putting God First Place. Ashley recently published her first book, How My Soul Yearns, where she shares about her journey through infertility.


  1. Susan Shipe

    May 12, 2011 at 8:52 am

    I had a very personal experience in my marriage in August of 2007 – and I am a living witness to God's grace being enough to sustain one. And, not only sustain but to abound in it.

    Good post Ashley.

  2. LeadHership

    May 12, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    Your aim is to point others to God. And you've inspired me to make that my aim too. Thank you.

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