Our Words Have the Power to Give Life {or death}

So, what is one thing you have learned about marriage?

My uncle asked me this question after I had just shared about my passion for marriage and how I enjoy inspiring others to be passionate through my blog.

I only had one answer for him.

“I wake up every day and choose to love my husband and work at our marriage. I must be intentional.”

In marriage, you don’t drift together…you only drift apart. If we do nothing in our marriage…if we put in no effort…no work…we will drift apart. It will happen. It happens every day to couples all across the world.

So, how can we be intentional?

We Must Be Intentional With Our Focus

Last month I shared the first way and foundational place to start, we must be intentional in our focus:

“We cannot achieve a happy joyful marriage on our own strength and ability. We must be focused on glorifying God in our marriage. That is what makes the difference.”

Today, I will share a second way we should be intentional in our marriage.

We Must Be Intentional With Our Words

This is a huge area! The bible talks about our tongues and the power we hold with our words. Here is one verse (Proverbs 18:21), “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

My words have the power to give life! Or death... That is a huge responsibility! And I cannot tell you how many times I take that responsibility lightly, when talking with my husband, as well as when talking about my husband.

The reality is, I have the power to build up my husband and encourage him with my words (Being a Wise Woman according to Proverbs 14:1). However, I also have the power to tear him down…

How do we talk to our husband?

When we are having a discussion…maybe even a lively discussion…do we still honor him with our words? Do we still speak with love? Or do we throw it out the window…

This is where I struggle. Growing up…when we fought, we fought, and we got loud. I’m afraid to say that I can easily fall back into that way of fighting…very easily.

I have to always be on guard with my words, especially when I am getting (or already am) frustrated or upset. I hate that my husband, the man I love so dearly, sees me at my worst.

Thankfully, God has been shaping and molding me and my words during the past six years. I am starting to truly grasp the power that my words have and hold the responsibility close.

How do we talk about our husband?

What about when talking with our children or other family or friends? Do they always hear us complaining or grumbling about our spouse? Or are they hearing an anthem of praise?

This can really be a problem for some women. We are generally social, by nature! We love to get together with other women, and, it is a wonderful thing! But, I have been in a group of women where we are having a great conversation…and then it happens.

Someone says something about their husband, negatively. And then everyone joins in! I’m going to be honest…I cannot handle it…

I used to be one of those women, then I realized how it can be so damaging to my thoughts, my attitude, and my marriage. How did I feel after that session of complaining? I felt like my husband wasn’t doing enough, or wasn’t good enough…

Instead, if we would get together and then talk about the wonderful things our husbands are doing, we would leave in a good mood and thinking highly of our men.

So, how are your words? Are you giving life? Or is this an area that you struggle with?