The Family Frontlines
~Surveying the Home

Posted by Joye Dicharry on August 25th, 2010 in Blog | 11 Comments

“So, Jackson, what do you think mommy’s job is?”, in a rare moment of silence my friend popped this question to her four year old. She wanted to know how her little boy viewed mommy’s role and what she was portraying as important in their home.

“You clean…”, Jackson paused and her heart sank a little. Maybe she was spending too much time cleaning and not enough time mothering.

“And you play with me and teach me”, his eyes brightened and her heart was relieved.

My friend’s conversation with her preschooler made my mommy brain rev into high gear. What are my children learning from what I’m not intentionally teaching them? If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times: our actions speak louder than our words. So, how do I really know what my kids are picking up on?

It makes perfect sense to ask them. And then to listen and learn from their response.

We survey our churches, our school rooms, our work places, and our political parties. Why shouldn’t we survey our homes-the one institution that will ultimately influence all the others? For it is out of the home that we raise husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, pastors, teachers, executives, and government officials.

Now, I’m not exactly proposing that we hand out copies of a ten page survey that rivals a history exam, pass out number two pencils and set the timer! Our “survey” may be as short as one thought provoking and enlightening question that will hopefully alert us to the state of our home.

Before I could even begin to ask my children questions, though, I realized I had to examine myself. What important values do I want to pass on to my family? What is my ultimate goal in parenting? What does God say should be my goal?

In many instances in the Old Testament of the Bible, we find God speaking to the families of Israel through his servant Moses. One particular chapter begins with this instruction,

“Love the LORD your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always.” (Deuteronomy 11:1, NIV)

Then He proceeds to tell us just how we are to love Him,

“Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night.” (Deuteronomy 11: 18-21, MSG)

According to God, the most important thing we can pass on to our children is a wholehearted, unwavering love for Him and His Word. This is the one thing I don’t want them to miss! In surveying my home, I want to find out what my kids think loving God looks like. Because all of my children are under the age of five and they view God through me, most of my questions will revolve around me.

“Does mommy love God?”

“How does mommy show God she loves Him?”

“Is the Bible important to mommy?”

If you are anything like me, this idea of surveying our homes might make you just a little bit nervous. What if we realize our kids aren’t “getting it”, that we’ve failed to teach them the most important thing? We can praise God that it’s never to0 late to grow, to refocus, and re-evaluate the consequences of our actions.

At the end of the day, when we’ve surveyed our families and allowed God to show us what’s really being taught on our home fronts, we can know with certainty that we are not our children’s only teacher. We don’t bear this burden alone! The Holy Spirit stands by, ready and eager to help us love God in a way that’s impossible to miss.

“But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things.” (John 14: 26 AMP)