To Be Completely Honest…

After blogging about sanity last month, I had one of the worst months, ever. In the interest of being real, I needed to say that.

My suffering was internal. Those close to me noticed something was amiss, but on the outside, it was business-as-usual. We humans are good at masks. You can’t always tell how things really are from our Facebook pages, and thank goodness for that.

Life hurts, sometimes, doesn’t it? And realities can’t be changed. All too often, these hard truths involve our family relationships.

What can we do? I wish I had neatly-packaged answers. This past month, I simply hung on for dear life. And my friends, if there is one thing I can encourage you to do when times get hard, it’s just that. Hang on.

Along the painful path of my past weeks, here are some “Dear Stephanie” questions God has been whispering to me:

• Are we still okay?
• Am I still enough for you?
• Will you trust me, even in this?

And these:

• Will you admit the truth about yourself?
• Will you refuse to focus on anyone else’s part of things?

And heaven help me, at the end of the tug-of-war, I had to let go of:

• Pride
• Self-pity
• The desire to be right
• The desire to be vindicated

Since we’re being honest, I must admit that the process involved:

• Tears
• Sobs
• Snot
• Foot stamping
• Pouting

But (thankfully) promised results are:

• Relief
• Cleansing
• Healing
• Freedom

When these beautiful things come flooding in, I experience the return of joy and peace, those greatly-missed friends. I can actually feel myself pulling in my lower lip and climbing back into the lap of Love in the three-fold Person of my Heavenly Daddy, the Lover of my soul (sweet Jesus), and my patient Teacher (the Holy Spirit). Thank You, treasured Trinity.

And do you know what? During the fog, when I finally thought to ask God for direction, He really did guide me in some practical ways. Why am I surprised?

Well, there you have it, in black and white. Just typing these words, dear readers, helped me to work through a funk. Thank you for the opportunity to write each month. My words are almost always what my own ears need to hear.

So, when I say that Jesus has become my sanity and my clarity, it’s absolutely true. But to be completely honest, it almost never comes easy.

“In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

(John 16:33, NIV)

As a footnote, precious ones, if you are hurting, or struggling, or if your family is, please keep these truths anchored in your mind:

• You are loved.
• You are important.
• God cares.
• I care.
• You can do this.

Lean on Him, and never give in. I’m rooting for you. ♥