Family Ties
~Video Game Marriage

Posted by Elisse Kipe on November 10th, 2010 in Blog | 5 Comments

How many times have you found yourself glaring at your husband, eyes as red as fire, body hot with anger, teeth gritted and smoke coming out of our ears? Too many to count? You aren’t alone.

Now how many times has this anger been the result of your feeling as though he is not pulling his weight around the house or with the kids? Nope, you definitely aren’t alone there either.

Today, I want to talk about how “video game mentality” can creep into our families and marriages. You see, there are times in almost every marriage where we begin an “us verses them” scoreboard in our minds.

Somewhere along the way, it’s as though a switch goes off in our heads and we go from “I love him so much, I’ll never mind picking up those dirty socks” to “whatareyouthinkingI’vebeencookingandcleaningalldayandyoujustleaveyoursocksrightthere?” Yes, you know there are no breaths in between words at that moment as you speak the words between gritted teeth!

Ladies, trust me when I say that I know you work hard- every wife and mother does. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or career mom, you wear many hats and are probably busier than you thought possible. I want to remind you of something- your marriage is not a “you versus him.” It is a unit. You and your husband took vows to be one, based on the love you had (and still have) for one another.

Some days that love will be more of a choice than a feeling and that’s okay (and normal). Just choose to love your husband through those times.

Instead of keeping track of the disappointments and mess-ups, begin keeping record of the times he gets it right.

One of my favorite phrases is that “perception becomes reality.” Since that is the case for many of us, make a CHOICE to stop dwelling on your husband’s faults and begin reminding yourself of his great attributes. After all, don’t we want him to dwell on our positive attributes and not the not so lovely ones?

I am fully convinced that if we spent more time dwelling on people’s positive characteristics, there would be happier, healthier people walking on this earth.

So today, tear up your mental scoreboard and replace it with a list of your husband’s positive characteristics. I promise you it will change your marriage.

Who knows, he may even pick up his socks after all!