Faithful Friends {the dance}

Posted by Heidi Floyd on September 29th, 2010 in Blog | 6 Comments

I have made many wonderful friends in my life;
all of them seem to be able to weave in and out of time periods and situations as if on cue. They seem to be part of an elaborate, well-planned dance which I am fortunate to witness. Some of them I get to see, visit or talk to every day. Some I see rarely, and consider the gaps in our actual visits far too long. The dear ones, as you well know, are always there in your heart no matter the distance geographically or duration of talk time.

Blogging, Facebook, Twitter and other forms of social media have been able to bridge that gap quite a bit and allow the dance of friendship to continue. So many of us have re-connected, shared minute details about work, husbands, children, pets (and sometimes, to my great delight, shoe photos!). The connections are exploding daily, and what a great gift this is to those of us in the dance.

Sometimes, however, we need the actual interaction of the human touch. A gentle hand on the shoulder, a great big ‘hello’ hug, a simple pat on the arm; any one of these has the ability to transform a terrible day into one that reminds us that we are back in the dance. Maybe, just maybe, it might not be as bad as it was just a moment ago. We are invited back to that warm and inviting space that only a friend can deliver.

A true friend will take a good long look at you and see what is really happening.

Recently, I went through a pretty tough time emotionally and as a result had experienced a fairly significant weight loss. Several people made comments indicating they found the ‘new me’ quite favorable – “you look GREAT, have you lost weight?” “wow, that is fantastic, how did you do that?”, etc. My friends – the real ones, the ones in the dance – took one look and immediately squinted their eyes. “You don’t need to lose weight, and the only time you do is when you are stressed.” Disapproval came gently, but without question, firmly.

That is the measure of a true friend. They can see the same thing that the rest of the world sees, but they know the meaning of actions. They know why things happen to you, how you think and feel. And yes, to the rest of the world you might appear better or more put together. If neither of those are true, a friend will know. She can look right through the makeup, right through the new clothes, right through your eyes and into your soul. And will offer advice, compassion and sometimes, if she feels it is necessary, a good scolding.

May we all be blessed with really good dance partners in our friendships.