What makes a Marriage Great?

What makes a marriage great?

Years ago that question was asked in a singles bible class that I was in as a college student. “Well that’s an easy one!” I thought. At the time (and for a long period afterwards as a new wife) I believed that what made a great marriage was two people who went to church, loved each other, and didn’t fight too often.

What I didn’t realize in my naivete, was that sometimes, I wouldn’t feel like loving my husband. And that maybe I wanted to pick a fight with him because I thought my way was right. Or sometimes I could be at church with a smile while inwardly stewing with anger.

For years I lived in what I thought was great marriage or maybe I should say, what looked like a great marriage. And on the outside it was. We weren’t divorced. We didn’t yell at each other in public. We attended church every time the doors were open. Our children were well behaved, and so on… We were doing everything right according to the eyes of the world.

But deep down, I knew it wasn’t right. How can anger, and pride, and looking out for number one ever be the focus of something created by God? You see, friend, that still small voice that speaks to our hearts through His Word, was telling me that I was wrong; that my interpretation of the picture of a biblical marriage was skewed.

In Ephesians 5 it says:

• “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold hast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” 5:29-33 ESV

So I re-asked myself the question: What makes a marriage great?

Is it focusing on the outward things that I do to make me look good, like acting okay when really, I’m not…

Or is a great marriage made when we take our eyes off of self and focus them on the One who created this beautiful and mysterious gift?

So my friend, can I ask you a question? Is there something in your marriage that needs to be handed over to Christ? Will you give it to Him?